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One afternoon of a public holiday, I went to Baba’s residence in Keshavapur.
I found 2 sadhus in loincloths with matted hair and sandal paste marks on their bodies were sleeping on the open ground in front of the house adjoining Baba’s residence.
At this sight it occurred to me that if these fellows were to have lain in this attitude of surrender before Baba’s residence, their purpose in life would perhaps have been fulfilled, but I could not see any reason for their lying outside a neighbouring residence.
Then the idea came to my mind that after all every thing depends on Baba’s will.
Maybe Baba has desired that they should rest in front of the neighbouring house so that the visitors to his house are not disturbed. Then I thought that some of Baba’s disciples of his previous life have appeared as sadhus such as these.
Are these two of them also?
While I was pondering these questions, Baba’s gate was opened, and after doing my pranam, I sat in His sitting-room for His pravarchan.
When I left, the two sadhus were still lying there but had gone when I returned in the evening as usual.
I accompanied Baba on His walk and asked about those two mendicants from Him but Baba remained silent.
This was the first time that Baba did not reply to my query. But even his silence was for my welfare, which I did not immediately realise.
After walking a little further Baba started talking on various subjects.
Each and every sadhaka of Ananda Marga is like a flame of fire. If someone attempts to touch it with malicious intent, they are bound to get burnt. I cannot tolerate anyone harming my disciples, and I cannot remain a silent spectator if this happens. Nagina, I have struggled. In every walk of life, struggle is a must.
Peace is the result of this fight. Peace cannot be attained by crying, ‘Peace! Peace!’ People must struggle to maintain their existence. This struggle is both internal as well as external.
As I prepared for bed on returning from the field that day, I again remembered those 2 sadhus and began to think of them. Then I remembered that Baba had instructed His disciples of His previous life to remain undiscovered.
This is why:
- they would have been unable to tell me who they really were
- Baba also chose to keep quiet when I asked about them
All such disciples of Baba who have reached the end of their sadhana come once a year to have His darshan in body.
When I thought of these things, I felt sad thinking that I had not met them and talked with them as my own brothers.
Baba’s silence was proper in every way - it was useless to regret it now.
But I consoled myself with the thought that Baba must have wanted this to happen in this manner. Still the thought that I should have met them continues to haunt my mind. An opportunity like this did not come again in my life.
The Lady In White
In October 1954, I had a peculiar experience during sadhana. Whenever I practiced dhyana, I would see the image of a lady clad in white emanating strong spiritual vibrations. This continued for many days.
After some days I got an opportunity to go with Baba for His field walk, and I mentioned this experience.
Baba stopped walking and said:
Then He was silent.
Astonished, I asked Baba whether He had got married, as He was making this reference to the wife of the Guru?
I enquired whether she was also a sister disciple, and Baba said she was not.
After mentioning this phenomena to Baba, I never saw that holy white clad lady again during my meditation.
Baba was always encouraging virtuous family life emphasising its importance and superiority.
We disciples would sometimes discuss amongst ourselves that Baba is leading a single life Himself and encouraging others to become householders.
I used to say that Baba will get married and lead a family life. But others considered this impossible.
However in due course Baba did indeed get married.
The Power Of Iista Mantra
Baba gave us some realisation about the power of the practice of iista mantra sometime toward the end of the winter of 1953.
Baba had said this about the efficacy of iista mantra and He was kind enough to make us realise its truth during the summer of 1955 in Jamalpur where I witnessed the following incident.
One of my departmental colleagues was an Inspector at Monghyr. His wife had a serious miscarriage and was admitted in the district hospital there.
Her condition deteriorated and became so serious that the doctors lost all hope. Both she and her husband had been initiated by Baba himself.
My colleague came to me in feeling utterly desperate and told me about this wife’s condition and the opinion of the doctors.
He had left her to the care of doctors in the hospital and come to Jamalpur to ask me to request and press Baba to save his wife.
Seeing him so grief-stricken and at his wit’s end, I went to Baba and told Him about the situation.
Baba said in a somewhat an irritated tone, “He will not do sadhana, and when he finds himself in a desperate situation, he approaches me.”
Baba remained silent.
Baba still remained silent.
I could see my colleague’s sad face in my mind and so I repeatedly asked Baba to be pleased and specially grace the lady who was on her deathbed.
At last Baba graciously replied:
I bowed my head at Baba’s feet and returned to tell my colleague about the directions, indications and blessings of Baba. He rushed back to the hospital and did as was directed by Baba. After 3 days, his wife recovered and he met me again.
Baba’s ‘Ananda Lilla’ (blissful play of life), is beyond the reach of human mind.
When and where He will make us realise the truth of his instructions and teaching we can not imagine, He alone knows. By the grace of Baba, this experience strengthened my faith immensely in the practice of iista mantra.
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