Master's Great Suffering

M. was seated by his side. Sri Ramakrishna asked him to come nearer.

The sight of his suffering was unbearable. In a very soft voice and with great difficulty he said to M:

Ramakrishna

I have gone on suffering so much for fear of making you all weep. But if you all say: ‘Oh, there is so much suffering! Let the body die’, then I may give up the body."

These words pierced the devotees’ hearts. He was their father, mother, and protector and he had uttered these words!

All sat in silence. Some thought:

Devotees

Is this another crucifixion-the sacrifice of the body for the sake of the devotees?

It was the dead of night. Sri Ramakrishna’s illness was taking a turn for the worse. The devotees wondered what was to be done. One of them left for Calcutta. That very night

Girish came to the garden house with two physicians, Upendra and Navagopal.

The devotees sat near the Master. He felt a little better and said to them:

Ramakrishna

The illness is of the body. That is as it should be. I see that the body is made of the 5 elements."

Turning to Girish, he said:

Ramakrishna

I am seeing many forms of God. Among them I find this one also [meaning his own form].

Monday, March 15, 1886

About 7am, Sri Ramakrishna felt a little better. He talked to the devotees, sometimes in a whisper, sometimes by signs.

Narendra, Rakhal, Lātu, M., Gopal of Sinthi, and others were in the room. They sat speechless and looked grave, thinking of the Master’s suffering of the previous night.

His vision of unity

Ramakrishna

(to the devotees): “Do you know what I see right now? I see that it is God Himself who has become all this. It seems to me that men and other living beings are made of leather, and that it is God Himself who, dwelling inside these leather cases, moves the hands, the feet, the heads. I had a similar vision once before, when I saw houses, gardens, roads, men, cattle-all made of One Substance; it was as if they were all made of wax.

I see that it is God Himself who has become the block, the executioner, and the victim for the sacrifice.”

As he describes this staggering experience, in which he realizes in full the identity of all within the One Being, he is overwhelmed with emotion and exclaims:

Ramakrishna

Ah! What a vision!

Immediately Sri Ramakrishna goes into samādhi. He completely forgets his body and the outer world. The devotees are bewildered. Not knowing what to do, they sit still.

Presently the Master regains partial consciousness of the world and says:

Ramakrishna

Now I have no pain at all. I am my old self again.

The devotees are amazed to watch this state of the Master, beyond pleasure and pain, weal and woe.

Ramakrishna

[to Latu] There is Loto. He bends his head, resting it on the palm of his hand. I see that it is God Himself who rests his head on His hand.

Sri Ramakrishna looks at the devotees and his love for them wells up in a thousand streams. Like a mother showing her tenderness to her children he touches the faces and chins of Rakhal and Narendra.

Master about himself

A few minutes later he says to M.:

Ramakrishna

If the body were to be preserved a few days more, many people would have their spirituality awakened.

He pauses a few minutes.

Ramakrishna

But this is not to be. This time the body will not be preserved.

The devotees eagerly await the Master’s next words.

Ramakrishna

Such is not the will of God. This time the body will not be preserved, lest, finding me guileless and foolish, people should take advantage of me, and lest I, guileless and foolish as I am, should give away everything to everybody. In this Kaliyuga, you see, people are averse to meditation and japa.

Rakhal

Rakhal (tenderly): “Please speak to God that He may preserve your body some time more.

Ramakrishna

That depends on God’s will.

Narendra

Your will and God’s will have become one

Sri Ramakrisna remains silent. He appears to be thinking about something.

Ramakrishna

(to Narendra, Rakhal, and the others): Nothing will happen if I speak to God. Now I see that I and the Mother have become one. For fear of her sister-in-law, Radha said to Krishna, ‘Please dwell in my heart.’ But when, later on, she became very eager for a vision of Krishna-so eager that her heart pined and panted for her Beloved-He would not come out."

Rakhal

(in a low voice, to the devotees): He is referring to God’s incarnation as Gaurānga.

The devotees sit silently in the room. Sri Ramakrishna looks at them tenderly. Then he places his hand on his heart He is about to speak.

Ramakrishna

(to Narendra and the others): “There are two persons in this. One, the Divine Mother. The other is Her devotee. It is the devotee who broke his arm, and it is the devotee who is now ill. Do you understand?

Alas! To whom shall I say all this? Who will understand me?

God becomes man, an Avatār, and comes to earth with His devotees. And the devotee leave the world with Him.

Rakhal : “Therefore we pray that you may not go away and leave us behind.”

Ramakrishna

(smiling): A band of minstrels suddenly appears, dances, and sings, and it departs in the same sudden manner. They come and they return, but none recognizes them.

The Master and the devotees smile.

Ramakrishna

Suffering is inevitable when one assumes a human body. Every now and then I say to myself, ‘May I not have to come back to earth again!’ But there is something else. After enjoying sumptuous feasts outside, one does not relish cheap home cooking. Besides, this assuming of a human body is for the sake of the devotees.

Sri Ramakrishna looks at Narendra very tenderly.